Life of Pi

I went to see Life of Pi with R yesterday, the second time watching it for me. I saw it in Dubai last week, but thought I'd go with R and watch it in Bahrain yesterday. Not sure what he thought of it. It had a fairly profound impact on me the second time. I remember reading the book years ago and not being all that impressed. Just entertained. Then the movie made me think the first time, but the second time I was able to catch some stuff that I missed the first time around. Most meaningful to me was the ending were Pi asks Yann which version of the story he liked better. Yann says "The one with the animals." Pi then says "...and so it is with God." That grabbed me I think mostly because the Christian explanation of life and it's origin etc, is fanciful and hard to believe, but it's the one I prefer. Both explanations - the rational one and the fantastic one - don't answer some fundamental questions and are both horrific and enchanting - just like either story didn't explain why the ship went down in the first place. Why would God allow sin and it's consequences just so that love and relationship could occur for some while the rest perish. Is it worth it? But it still continues to be the better story. Otherwise there is no real love or meaning and we are just an accident and that's just too horrible to believe in, even if it is true. The tiger kept Pi alive because he "kept him alert because of his fear, and keeping him alive gave him purpose." I find that also profound. He chose to keep the tiger alive and it gave him a sense of purpose and fear, which kept him alive. Without a belief in God we loose our sense of purpose and fear, and therefore our will to live. Killing the tiger will ultimately kill ourselves. ...even if the tiger is not real, it's necessary ...and it's necessary that we believe in him. Wow. I've got a lot to do today and I don't want to do any of it. Must register Maddy for swimming. Must register my phone sim card. Need to get taxes sorted out. Need to get paperwork for home loan. Purpose. I have some purpose for this week. Glad it's a fairly light week. Longing to be able to write a novel like the Life of Pi. That's a purpose I can appreciate!

Ruminating in Dubai

Sitting in the Vienna Cafe at the JW Marriott in Dubai enjoying a latte and OJ, waiting for my breakfast, while Josh Garrels from my phone is feeding my head. Here for Boeing recurrent. Got in yesterday traveling from Bahrain in Business on Emirates. N and M are in the US. Yesterday was a lazy day. Very tired. Tried to sleep, surfed the channels, finally went to sleep late afternoon. Woke up around 6:30pm. Did some exercise in the gym, then went down to the pub and had two beers and a quesadilla. Watched a little live music, which was fantastic! Very talented Filipino band. Felt good. Went to bed and surfed the TV again. Settled again on music videos. Watched a series of videos from an artist known as Rhianna. Probably very famous. Music and video editing was superb. It's been so long since I've enjoyed good art. A bit suggestive ...okay, very suggestive, but that is to be expected. It's interesting to see that now as a 43 year old man. It doesn't have the power over me that it used to. I was living yesterday as a silent observer of my own self. The human experience is so fascinating. I was observing how it felt to exercise, have two beers, watch sports, listen to good live music, or music videos. Just tasting life, quietly, modestly. No hookers, no excessive drinking, no drugs, just appreciation of the little things. Enjoying the effect of the latte and good oatmeal this morning. Working on some fruit. Enjoying my iTunes. Thinking, pondering... Don't want to read the bible and disturb my reverie. It invariably makes me mad. Thinking about the forces at work in the world. The push, pull, pressure, resistance, retaliation, revolution, greed, corruption, gluttony, fear, piety, restlessness, hunger, jealousy, flattery, angst, love, lust. Tight clothes, high heels, hunger, bare shoulders - trading sex, or even just the thought of it, for the apparition of love, or, ...at least a better income. Or enormous guts like scarlet letters revealing years of emptiness, want and indiscretion. Patience and moderation now seem to be a thing of the past. Want want want, take take take, use use use. Thinly veiled manipulation reverberates on every billboard, tv screen, and magazine- but nobody cares anymore. Denial is a powerful anesthetic. Pretending you are loved and wanted is better than the alternative... I observe all this from my perch, as I watch life go by like endless traffic on a busy highway. I've seen the cycle too many times, and have let it bite me more than once. Want repels love, which only feeds the want. Love can only be really found when want is gone. You can only get it when you don't need it - because it happens only when you are full enough to give. It is a profound paradox, much like greatness found only in service, "the first will be last and the last will be first." I'm at the edge of what I consider to be a fairly powerful choice. Well, the choice has already been made, really, but the final act is yet to come. Still reversible at this point. I'm about to leave a perfectly good job that pays me a quarter of a million dollars annually to do very easy work that gives me plenty of time with the family. I'm trading all this in for a salary of less than 50K, more work, less vacation, and less time at home - just to be back in the U.S. with family and friends, and to break the spell of affluence. I'm willingly checking back into the mainstream. Back to struggle, and want. Back to "never enough." All tempered by freedom from debt, ownership of property and half a mill in the nest egg, ...but nevertheless much less than what it could have been if I would have stayed. What an experience these last 5 years have been! I'm full of memories and a new perspective on, ...everything. Much like what good science fiction does to pull you out of your life to see the same issues in a different context - so you can see it clearly for what it is - removed from the fog of familiarity. I immersed myself in a radically different world view these last 5 years. The context was different, but the longer I was here, the more familiarity I felt. My upbringing was heavily influenced by the worldview of my family, and I've found that the same piety, pride, and dogma induced blindness occurs here. The apparition of certainty dulls the senses in any world-view and closes the mind, it seems. I've found another paradox, which is - allowing oneself to risk letting go of "certainty," opens the mind to truth. Seeing life the way it is, instead of the way you want to, is, ...powerful! Truth can only be know when you can admit that you don't know it... Wow. Very Krishnamurti, I know. This has been nice. I guess I started this more than a few hours ago. Ruminating in a coffee shop, listening to music. I can see myself doing this a lot in the next phase of my life. Time now to prepare for the job at hand. Recurrent training of the Boeing 737. I should look over the limitations and procedures. First the bathroom...

Flying East While Going West

We are climbing out of Jeddah at 3000 feet per minute, carbon fiber blades are spinning at 33,000 rpm hungrily consuming 200 pounds of fossil fuel every minute while it pulls gallons of air through itself to propel us forward. I glance at the center fuel tank quantity gage. It shows 1200 lbs. Engines are burning just under 6 thousand pounds an hour each now. Let's see, that should be about 6 minutes before I have to turn the center tank pumps off. I start the stopwatch, just to see if my prediction is accurate. Wow, I must be bored. I look outside and see single dots of lights dispersed randomly in mountain valleys. What would it be like to live there - far away from the city. What do those people think about? What motivates them? What makes them laugh or cry? What are they afraid of? What are they passionate about? How do they view the world? I will miss this place, when I leave. Even after 5 years I love to hear the prayer call. It's still exotic. I love to rehash inside jokes with Muslim men just by a word or a knowing smile, that reminds us both of previous conversations. We ask about our kids by name. We remember each others' upcoming vacation plans. We remember what makes the other laugh, despite the chasm of world view that supposedly separates us. I wave at the mechanic that comes up to greet us as we pull the airplane into it's parking spot. He points at his wedding ring and then lifts up two fingers with a smile reminding me of a previous time he was goading me to get a second wife. "Why shouldn't my wife get a second husband?" I had asked him. He had tried to explain to me how women's needs were different, etc. - all with obvious tongue in cheek. I will miss these guys, this land full of mystery and complexity. I will miss sitting on the floor with eight other guys eating out of the same plate of kabsa with our hands. I will miss walking by the carpeted rooms with shoes scattered around the doorway and looking in to see dispatchers and baggage handlers, pilots and managers all standing in a row, shoulder to shoulder facing west with bare feet and humble submission to their God.

Desecration

Thinking. Thinking about life. The colors of the sky during evening and morning. The coolness of morning air on my face. The miracle of flight. Technology and nature united, working together to perform a miracle. I'm thinking about all the hatred. All these people hating each other because of different explanations for the origin of time. Nobody is willing to say, "I don't know." But this fascinating life with all it's wonders and complexity is desecrated by their vitriol.

Sunshine!

So I've just transitioned out of a dark cave into the light. The cave was nice, cool, safe, out of the heat of the sun, but I didn't know where I was going. Sure I could just stay there, but it wasn't where I wanted to be. There was no excitement or future in it. This is the best analogy to my situation right now. I have suddenly found my way out of the cave and see a breathtaking view of the future. I just interviewed and was hired by major U.S. airline and all my pent up anxiety about the future has been released. I was trying so hard to get in, and it happened. For the record my interview was last Wednesday and Thursday, November 14-15, 2012. It was challenging, and at least from one evaluator, the only one that gave me feedback, it was a close call. Not sure why - he said something about wondering if I would ever "let my hair down" and show myself. I think I was trying hard to give all the right answers and he wasn't able to see me behind all my carefulness. Anyway, he said it all depended on an answer to the last question he gave, which was something like, how would I make a 4 day trip enjoyable if I were to fly with him. I barely remember my response but, according to him, I "knocked it out of the park." All I said was that I love getting to know people and that all I would do is find out as much about him as I could. For some reason, that resonated with him. Anyway, I am now to wait for a class day, and am told it may take a while, maybe even 6-7 months. But I have nothing to loose. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have plenty of time to get ready and I'll only be making more money while I wait. But what a desert at the end - just to dream of Hawaii, Mexico, Alaska, getting to know many new people and returning home. Maybe living in Anchorage for a few years, settling down in the land of customer service and like-minded people, but with a rich perspective of life; time to test my writing skills while on the road. And what a great way to retire! I'm in a state of euphoria. It seems nothing can go wrong now.

Under the Cloud

Living under the cloud of "needing to make a difference" is tiresome. I've spent so much of my life hoping somehow God would use me to lead someone to himself - or to becoming a Christian. Most of the time I'm disappointed in myself because nothing happens. I can't get the nerve up to talk about God. When I do it doesn't seem to go anywhere, or it bothers the listener. Or I get myself in a position where I realize I don't really know what I'm talking about or can't find a way to defend it. Also I feel stuck inside this very fallible personality and character. So easily swayed in my purpose by my desire to be liked. And I'm getting tired of trying to achieve the impossible. I can't change anybody, and no one is going to change on my account - least of all by watching my life. They haven't and they probably won't. So why continue to live in disappointment. Living under the expectation that "reading the bible more" will make me into this super Christian. The more I read the bible the more I get pissed off. Yet I read it every day anyway, giving myself license to react to it honestly. It's refreshing to be honest, but I don't feel like I'm "growing" as a result. I'm just getting more jaded. Gotta go.

Good and Evil in a Modern World

One notion that this liberated postmodern man has been unable to let go of, despite having recently freed himself of the religious notions of his parents and rebuilt his worldview entirely on only what can be proven scientifically, is the notion of good and evil. He can't seem to let it go. It must exist, and it must be explainable within his new peridyme, because without it there is no meaning or passion or texture to life. In fact life becomes a story without a plot. Everything is flatlined. I mean, think about it. Why do we do anything, really. It's usually because we think it is a good thing to do. Even when we do something that we know is wrong, we have somehow justified it in our minds before we do it. It is the basis of every argument, every endevour, every motivation. We wake up to it in the morning, and we fall asleep to it every night (unless, of course, it's keeping us awake). God might be dead, but good and evil are alive and well. How then do we explain what it is? I mean, this used to be easy. Good is good because God said it is good. But now that God is out of the picture, what justifies our indignacy at being wronged. Some have said that good is what keeps the human race going. It's just another word for efficient cohabitation. Others have said good is what makes us happy, and evil is what causes suffering. But if we reduce good and evil to a theory, what do we have left to evaluate our theory with. We can't really evaluate if the longevity of the human race is good or that suffering is bad, because these evaluations are made outside of our definition. Even these two theories themselves are incompatible, as the longevity of the human race seems to bring about more suffering than it does happiness. The more we think about good and evil, the more we come to realize that they really stand outside of everything. Despite not being able to agree entirely on what is good and what is evil, we all seem to know they exist and are worth defending, even though we don't really know why.

Wind

I joined a writer's group a few months ago, and one of our assignments was to write about something we like. I chose to write about wind: I love the coolness on my face when I open the window over a steaming hot sink.  I love how it chases away stale air and bad smells I love how it suddenly surges a candle flame with light and life Or awakens a tree Or churns an ocean I love how it playfully messes up tidy gardens and pathways with leaves and sand,  Just for the sheer delight of watching people put it all back so it can do it again.  I love how it cools my lips and throat when I'm running  And fills every tired crevice in my body with energy, life and heightened awareness As it moves through me, stiff joints become soft and limber, colors are brighter, sounds are clearer and a rhythmic give and take of wind sets in as I find my pace.  Eventually fatigue comes and wind no longer invigorates,  but sustains.  I gasp heavily for more air and it always delivers, holding me up and coaxing me forward.  But what I love most about wind is what it does to an airplane Pulling unseemly metal and fabric high up into itself  Showing  its occupants sights otherwise never beheld.  Because of wind I have seen a setting sun rise as it carried me up And I've seen it set under the clouds Only to appear again as I settled below them Making islands of snow covered mountaintops turn pink in a sea of fog. 

Bias Is Beautiful

History is not a record of the past, it is a record of perceptions of the past. The true past, as it really was, is gone, ...forever ...never to be recovered. Why? Because just as with the evening news, nothing recorded as history can be free of bias. But not all is lost. What is left is possibly even more valuable. What every historical account gives us is a glimpse inside the mind of one who has perceived. When we read (listen or watch) history, we see a biased view, not only in how something observed is described, but in what is described. Assuming everything could be observed, not everything observed can be recorded, since it usually takes longer to record than to observe. But not everything is observed. There are a lot of things that happen that we simply miss, just because we aren't looking for them, or are distracted by something else we find more interesting. So when we read history we are actually reading about something that someone else decided was important. We are reading someone's bias, even before they have interpreted what they saw. But are most historical accounts primary sources? That is, are they accounts of actual observations? Not usually. We usually aren't reading a person's perception of what they saw. We are reading a historian's interpretation of what a person said they saw, and the truth is tainted yet again by another bias. Not only that, but we the reader, can't escape the effect of our own biases. So reading history is rather like the 2010's blockbuster movie "Inception" where Leonardo DiCaprio's character finds himself in a dream within a dream within a dream. We are quite far removed from the actual past, but we are face to face with bias. Living as a Christian guest in arguably the most conservative Muslim nation in the Middle East, has made me much more aware of my own bias, just by observing the bias of others. What has been remarkable to me, is not how different these biases are from my own, but in fact in their familiarity. My Muslim neighbor and I grew up with a monotheistic world-view. The primary cause in an infinite chain of cause and effect has been attributed to a personal being we both call "God" (Allah comes from two Arabic words: "al," which means "the," and "lah," which means "god."). Both of us have been told over and over again that this God jealously guards his "one-ness" as he does his demand for moral purity. We have also been told that he is merciful, and willing to forgive the one is truely repentant. So we have spent our lives trying hard to be good, while perpetually seeking forgiveness when we are not. Our perceptions have allowed us to allow for the supernatural to occur, whether it be Muhammad's miraculous overnight trip from Mecca to Jerusalem on a winged steed, or Elijah's flight to heaven on a chariot of fire. All of these beliefs affect how we perceive everything we experience. Our differences are few, really, compared to the ardent naturalist, but even though we are similar, each one of us has a unique but fallible view of the world. All of us, including the naturalist have one thing in common. We all long to know what is true.

Dubai Duty

One exciting aspect to my job is that every six months I am assigned to go through what we call recurrent training. Usually this involves a couple of days in a classroom going over all the aircraft systems and how to handle different malfunctions. The rest of the week is spent in a full motion flight simulator, where we practice dealing with a litany emergencies such as engine failures, fires, and equipment malfunctions. Many of these problems are to be dealt with pre-determined actions that we have memorized. Others require a bit of thinking and application of some of our system knowledge, or the use of an emergency checklist. It is always an exciting week, and I usually learn a lot. The other fun thing is that this training is outsourced by other companies that specialize in providing this sort of training. The aircraft I happen to be flying and the availability of the training facilities will determine where I will go for this training. So far I've gone to Paris, Toronto, Wichita, and this last week I was in Dubai. Dubai is a fascinating city with a myriad of things to do. I didn't have much time to do many things myself, but my wife and daughter came along and took advantage of the company paid "vacation". This included indoor snow skiing, visiting the tallest building in the world, and of course lots of shopping. Compared to Saudi Arbia, Dubai is clean, modern, and liberal. People from all nationalities can be found almost everywhere, but like Saudi, the hard labor is done primarily by workers from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka. Filipinos make up much of sales workers and nannies, etc. probably because they are better at English. My instuctors at the training center were all European (Norwegian, French, and Portugese). The hotel staff was very international as well, as was the staff at the airline. In fact I don't think we ever interacted with a single Emiratti! Because of its proximity to many poor countries, Dubai, as many of the other Gulf states, have taken advantage of cheap labor. A significant percentage of their work force make less than $200 a month. As a result Dubai has probably one of the most amazing skylines. Buildings shaped like flowers, wheels, or even twisted licorish sticks line the beach front. Islands shaped like palm trees, or dolphines are covered with half built condos, and private beaches. It is very unreal, and seems precariously balanced on a notion that there is no end to the oil that has paid for all this lavishness. Where else can one snow ski in the desert!

Prayer at 35,000 Feet

After we level off at 35,000 feet, and establish our course eastbound from Jiddah, Saudi Arabia, the Muslim captain I'm flying with slides his seat back and says, "You have the controls, okay? I'm going to pray." A moment later he is standing with his arms crossed, hands on his wrists, facing aft toward the flight deck door. I hear him quietly reciting the Koran while he bends down with his hands on his knees, and then stands back up again. A minute later he is kneeling with his forehead on the floor, ...and then he is back up again. He does this full ritual twice while continuously reciting the Koran. The air is smooth. The sunset has left a faint glow on the horizon behind us. Mecca is less then 100 miles behind my right shoulder. I feel so lucky to be here.

A Parallel Universe of Belief

The experience of coming as a Christian guest to this Muslim country has been almost like being transported to a parallel universe of belief. Although the differences are many, the similarities are uncanny. Within each faith lie two distinct perspectives, each orbiting around a different center - either a book or a man. Each center is a source of authority and is determined to be infallible. For Christians, the infallible center is either the Bible and/or the Pope and for the Muslims, it seems to be either the Koran and/or the Imam. What side a person takes on these issues has a lot to do with how they handle the rest of life, because each choice comes with a very distinct identity. Protestant or Catholic, Sunni or Shi’a, the dividing line for each comes down to who or what is infallible and authoritative.


For the Muslims, this was an early split. Lines were drawn in the sand soon after Ali, Muhammad's son-in-law, was assassinated in 661 AD. This sparked a revolt by a group that later called themselves “Shi’a," which is short for “Shi atu Ali,” meaning "partisans of Ali.” Since Muhammad had no sons that made it to adulthood, the Shiites felt that his cousin Ali, who was married to his daughter Fatima, was his only rightful successor. According to the Shiites, this status granted Ali and his successors, not only political and religious authority, but also immunity from error and sin. In 880 AD the 12th imam disappeared, and much like the Christian anticipation of the second coming of Jesus, Shiites believe he will eventually return and bring justice to the earth.


The habit of unquestioned trust in religious leadership continues to this day among the Shi’a, as they believe that hidden levels of meaning of the Koran are only available to the imam and those he chose to reveal them to.

The Sunni represent roughly 85% of the Muslim world and have more of a "Protestant" view of religious authority. The Sunni get their name from the accumulation of words and actions of the Prophet Muhammad called the "Sunnah," now found primarily in the "Hadith" which supplements the Koran and is also treated as God's word. Immunity from error is attributed to the Koran and Hadith, and great effort is placed on finding the true meaning of their words. Without the guide of an infallible imam, Sunni theology has branched out into multiple "schools of thought," - just as early Protestantism did after the Martin Luther convinced many to question the ultimate authority of the pope. Sunni theology can now be broken down into four main schools that are almost region specific and have found a prominent place in government and civil law. Saudi Arabia is a prime example of this, as the court system is guided primarily by a branch of Shari'ah (Islamic law) known as "Hanbali." Like most prominent Protestant denominations do with the bible, "Hanbali" places utmost importance on the original intent of the Koran and Hadith and differs with other schools only in variation of emphasis on literal meaning or general guiding principle.

It seems that within each tradition lies a common thread - a rift between belief and practice. Every follower knows what he ought to do, but no one is completely faithful to do it. These differences vary as do the distances of planets from the sun, but most participants of any faith will readily admit the dichotomy. Perpetual guilt pervades the Middle East as well as America. It has been very intriguing to hear both a Muslim and a Christian say almost the same exact thing to me: "I am a believer, but I'm a bad one. Maybe one day I'll get my act together."

Most of us wander aimlessly in unfulfilled self-expectation, and the irony is our loneliness despite this commonality. Masks of spirituality isolate us from each other in either religion and skew our view of reality as we think we are alone in our struggle to be good. As a result the least religious among us can sometimes be the most honest.

Only In America

Only in America can you find these things:

1. ATM fees
2. Cell phone companies that will both charge the sender and receiver for every phone call
3. Dates written with the month first instead of the day
4. Temperatures in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius
5. Measurements in feet and miles instead of meters and kilometers
6. Weight in pounds instead of kilograms
7. Coffee makers in hotel rooms
8. Monolingual people

Feel free to add some.

Prayer in Saudi Arabia

The discipline of the faithful, here in Saudi Arabia, is incredible. Every morning they get up at first light and go to a mosque to pray. At this time of the year it happens around 3:15 am. (The earliest morning prayer is actually around June 13 at 3:10am.) Five prayers are required every day and happen at very specific times based on the position of the sun and stars. The first is at first light; the second at shortest shadow; the third when the shortest shadow has doubled in length; the fourth when the sun sets; and the fifth when the first star appears.

Accomplishing the prayer starts with a ritualistic washing of face, neck, feet, hands and arms all the way up to the elbow. Special floor level wash basins are often found in public bathrooms to accommodate this sort of washing but if they can't be found, it isn't uncommon to see men with their feet up in the sink, and water all over the bathroom when done. After the washing the worshiper goes into the mosque barefoot and makes either two or four prostrations (depending on the time of day) in the direction of Mecca usually on a rug. While prostrating in a very specific way, verses of the Qura'an are quoted by the individual or a chosen leader of a group. All this takes about 5 to 10 minutes.



The company I work for provides pocket sized prayer calendars so we can keep track of them. It's good to know when a prayer is imminent because everything shuts down during prayer time. All stores close their doors and if you are in a store you will not be able to purchase anything or conduct business until the prayer is done. You also might not be able to get out of the store. This prayer time can last 30 to 45 minutes, so the prayer schedule is quite handy allowing you to plan your day around them. If you plan it right you can order a meal and have it served just before prayer and then enjoy it during prayer since you won't be able to do much else. All Muslims are expected to participate in these prayers and all Saudis are expected to be Muslims. Special exceptions are granted travelers and the invalid, but even travelers are to make their prayers up later if they skipped some during travel.


Prayer is one of the "five pillars" of Islam and is a fundamental part of a Muslim's daily existence. It provides structure, solidarity, identity and a strong bond between fellow Muslims. No other religious practice that I'm aware of is done so frequently. It's like going to church 35 times a week!

I've Been Interviewed

So, I just got interviewed today by a blogger friend of mine Malaine Wolfe. You can check it out at http://writinginthelandoftornadoes.blogspot.com/2009/05/interview-with-pilot-and-saudi-arabian.html

Shortcomings of Capitalism

Interspersed among highly paid westerners on our compound is an army of South-Asian laborers clad in different colored overalls, each color representing their department. Grounds keepers are in green, street cleaners in yellow, maintenance in brown, waste management in orange, etc. The difference in income between them and those they serve is staggering, as many of them earn just over $100 a month. Since most of them are also supporting families in their native countries they find creative ways to supplement their income.

One way is to jump at every garage sale that comes up on the compound (presumably to resell purchases at higher prices). As my wife will testify, being a savvy bargain shopper herself, each of these garage sales start with a frenzy as workers clamor to take advantage of the best deals. It seems that what we find as a weekend hobby, is to them a struggle for survival.

Another method of survival is "freelance" labor. One of the perks here is quick service when things break down. We've had our washer worked on, lawn installed, roof repaired, front gate replaced, water heater repaired, etc. - all for free, courtesy of the company. Other services, such as gardening, house cleaning, chauffeuring, painting, etc. can be arranged at modest rates by calling the appropriate department who will then send out one of these contract laborers to do the work. This is all very organized and efficient, but the workers themselves do everything they can to circumnavigate the system to get paid directly. This is done in a variety of ways. Most of the time it's just outright solicitation, and a very hurt and dejected look when it is politely refused. Otherwise, if they have been sent out to do some work on the house, they will finish their assigned work and ask if there is anything else they can do. If we say "no" they will insist on giving their own personal contact information, should we change our minds. It seems obvious that they anticipate more generous compensation directly from us than what they normally get from the company they work for. Once we had a guy come to our house with a measuring wheel, insisting that he needed to measure the land around our house in preparation for planting our promised lawn. After I led him and his associate through the house to grant them access to the back yard, I watched them through the kitchen window as I did the dishes, and was perplexed to see them just stand there doing nothing. I came back out to ask if they needed anything or had any questions. The man with the measuring wheel said "no", but then sheepishly suggested that I really needed a gardener as my back patio was covered in leaves and looking rather messy. I thanked him for his offer but said that we prefered our privacy and would like to do it ourselves. After giving me a very disappointed look, he left our house without doing any of the measuring he had originally said he came to do.

Although capitalism inspires initiative, it also inspires greed. It works well for those few people that have received good education, opportunity and a bit of wealth to start off with, but the rest of the world seems to suffer in its wake. The resources of the world are horribly distributed these days as those that have, start to hoard, and those that don't have, hardly stand a fighting chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating government enforced wealth distribution. I'm just suggesting we take a moment to step away from our perceived "problems" and take a look at the world as a whole. Uneven distribution of wealth kills people. Daily.

The Business of Happiness

Abdulah S. Jum‘ah, made an interesting statement when he resigned after 13 years at the helm of the largest oil company in the world. In his farewell speech at the end of 2008, he said: “When I am asked what business I’m in, I don’t tell them I’m in the oil industry. I tell him or her that I am in the business of making people happy.” He explained that from the school bus giving children access to education, to the distribution of food, and power and heat to needy parts of the world, the oil business essentially made people happy. This statement swelled many of his loyal supporters with pride and has been echoed repeatedly, like ripples in a pond, at almost every company banquet, board meeting and seminar since the day it was mentioned.


If oil does in fact make people happy, it comes at incredible cost. Drillers need more than a pair of gloves and a lunchbox. Geologists have to find them places to drill. Pilots (like me) have to get them there and back. Doctors and nurses need to keep them alive, and dentists need to plug the holes in their teeth. Then there are the cooks, barbers, mailmen, security guards, travel agents, accountants, firemen, bus drivers, plumbers, lawyers, mechanics and teachers for all their kids. To keep up morale, these employees will need some sort of recreation, but this now requires libraries, tennis courts, weight rooms, bowling alleys, coffee shops, swimming pools, golf courses and hobby farms - with adequate staffing for each. Since the desert isn't always pretty to look at, grass and trees are imported from far off places, as is water, and grounds keepers to keep them trim. Air conditioning is a must most of the year, so repair men stand guard 24 hours a day. Pretty soon, departments are created to handle complaints, process passports, coordinate shipping, and board pets. It doesn't take long, and each driller has a crowd standing behind him like a Verizon subscriber and all he has accomplished is extract raw oil out of the ground. Now it needs to be processed and transported ... and if it can get past the coast of Somalia ... the world will be a bit happier.

To Be or Not To Be An Aristocrat

The dirty little secret that expats around the world choose not to highlight when they return to their native home, is that... well... most of them have a little help around the house. This would be rare to see in middle class America, or perhaps any other "westernized" country, as it smacks of slavery, and reminds us of times when we were less than honest about living out our ideals that "all men are created equal". But a little tour of some of the less "westernized" countries of the world, would reveal, I would be willing to bet, nine out of ten Westerners still taking advantage of cheap labor to make life a bit easier. These helpers could be nannies, maids, "house-boys" (a term I always cringe at, since these are usually grown men), gardeners, drivers, etc. To be fair, life is often much harder in many remote parts of the world, and expats often come with a high level of expertise and are contributing some valuable services to needy communities. To spend most of their time with the daily chores of life would take away from that considerably. As well, having a helper, is employment for someone that might have otherwise not had a job. No matter how justifiable these arrangements are, they have somewhat of a status defining effect, and one can easily start ascribing differing amounts of value to people depending on their particular role.

I did not anticipate the struggle I would have with this decision before I came out here. At the moment we have no help around the house, but have turned away at least ten potential gardeners and a few house maids. We welcome your opinion...

Finding Our Way Together

We have been in Saudi Arabia for a month now, as a family, and are far from a comfortable routine. I've been busy with work and endless other appointments for permits, licenses, I.D.'s, etc. that only I can do as I'm the only legal driver here in our family (women are not allowed to drive). Nikki, on the other hand, has been a bit stir crazy, unable to do much or go anywhere as Maddy comes home every day from school for lunch, and there really isn't time to get anywhere and back on the bus to go shopping etc., during the 2-3 hours Maddy is at school. So, often we join each other at opposite emotional levels - me wanting some peace and quiet, and Nikki longing for an exciting trip somewhere.

Speaking of exciting trips, the driving here is incredible! Since our new location doesn't come with a crew car service, I've been driving myself to work. My rental car shows about 4000 kilometers in the "trip meter" now in the last 4 weeks, while I've been waiting to get the proper documentation to drive our newly purchased '91 Honda Accord. During that time I've had to learn a completely different way of driving. Now, half of my attention is in the mirror, as I struggle to stay alive. Typically I'm on a highway with about 2 or 3 lanes and it seems like no one goes the speed limit. They are either 20-40 kph slower or 50-100 kph faster. So if you are cruising along in the middle lane at the speed limit (120 kph - or about 75 mph) you will invariably come across a slow service truck or guy on his cell phone going 80 kph. You will slip into the outside lane to get around him, and maybe two or three others he's following. Before you can get back into the middle lane, you will suddenly realize someone has come out of nowhere, and is tailgating so close that their windshield fills up most of your back window. Either that or you are being passed on the left shoulder by someone going literally twice as fast as you, and your car rocks from side to side as they whiz by within inches of your side mirror. This is an every day occurrence.

Exit lanes are also used very ...efficiently. Just the other day I took the exit off of one highway and had stopped at the end to yield to traffic on the next road I was going to take. I decided I wouldn't cut anyone off so I politely wait for a comfortable space to merge into. While I was waiting I suddenly realized cars were coming around me on both sides perfectly content to turn my one-lane exit into a three lane mass merging free-for-all. I was a sitting duck. I decided to let go of all courtesy and force my way into the crowd, as I really had no alternative. It's a different world out here. I usually can't wait to get to work so I can strap myself in an airplane, get it in the air, and finally relax.

Routines are starting to develop, however. Nikki has been going to Maddy's school to help out for a few hours a day. She's also been able to do some circuit training and yoga, and even has some Arabic lessons lined up. Thursdays (equivalent to Saturday's in the U.S.) usually are family days when we can go to the swimming pool, or library, and then come home, take a quick snooze in the hammock out back before we settle down to a rigorous game of monopoly. Fridays we go to a small Christian church on the compound, and maybe hit up a delicious brunch at the diner. I think I'm going to try to rejoin my water polo group on Friday afternoons, but I'll have to see how everyone else is feeling about that. Gone are my regular workouts and uninterrupted reading, but the sacrifice is well worth it. Peace and quite are not worth loneliness and separation in my book. It's much better this way.

Let's Get This Thing Started

So here it finally is. My own blog. I've spent most of the last 14 months in Saudi Arabia, and the experience has been so entrancing that I've found myself irresistibly drawn to journaling. Since I was separated from my wife and kid most of the time (geographically), I sent some of these journal entries home as email attachments, so that they could get a bit of a taste of what life was like for me out here. My wife decided to send them around to friends and family, many of whom seemed to enjoy it. (The rest have wisely kept quiet.) Now that we have sent close to 40 entries out via email, it seems long past due that I step into the blog community and do it properly. So here goes...

I make no promises about frequency of updates or specific themes or content. Let's just see where it takes us. I'll start off with my last journal entry ...which never got sent to anyone ...due to distractions. If I can figure it out, I'll try to put some of the older entries in the archive section. Feel free to comment honestly. Polite platitudes will not be tolerated. Give it to me straight up.