The dirty little secret that expats around the world choose not to highlight when they return to their native home, is that... well... most of them have a little help around the house. This would be rare to see in middle class America, or perhaps any other "westernized" country, as it smacks of slavery, and reminds us of times when we were less than honest about living out our ideals that "all men are created equal". But a little tour of some of the less "westernized" countries of the world, would reveal, I would be willing to bet, nine out of ten Westerners still taking advantage of cheap labor to make life a bit easier. These helpers could be nannies, maids, "house-boys" (a term I always cringe at, since these are usually grown men), gardeners, drivers, etc. To be fair, life is often much harder in many remote parts of the world, and expats often come with a high level of expertise and are contributing some valuable services to needy communities. To spend most of their time with the daily chores of life would take away from that considerably. As well, having a helper, is employment for someone that might have otherwise not had a job. No matter how justifiable these arrangements are, they have somewhat of a status defining effect, and one can easily start ascribing differing amounts of value to people depending on their particular role.
I did not anticipate the struggle I would have with this decision before I came out here. At the moment we have no help around the house, but have turned away at least ten potential gardeners and a few house maids. We welcome your opinion...
I’ve Made a Pit Stop
6 years ago
Posts
Our first experience was in Costa Rica - good experience, mutually beneficial, with someone who was neither servile nor seeking to take advantage. This was a full-time employment.
ReplyDeleteOur second experience, this time in Bolivia, was negative - a trust issue that involved several issues. This was also a full-time employment. It felt too intrusive at the time, but a lot of that had to do with the personality of the person.
Our third experience, still in Bolivia, was extremely positive. Trustworthy, not servile, spoke to us as an equal. Part-time.
My advice would be to consider how much of your family time you want to share, as well as the person´s manner of interacting with you. I'm sure I could add more, but need to get back to class.
Take care,
B
Well, for myself, when moving to the KSA was 1st brought up, my 1st thought was like...cool...hell...I hate house work...always have. My husband used it as a "selling tool"; which is how I knew dang near everyone had a "house boy" (BTW: I agree with you on this term). But, now that I'm in the position to hire someone...I've decided to wait a minute for the following reasons.
ReplyDelete1) I'm not working...so if I have this person coming in cleaning...what am I going to do. We don't have children, it's just the 2 of us, and too much, it's just me, so...
2) I wonder if you can trust these people not to steal from you.
3) The gardeners inability to speak english has turned me off. I've had help with limited english speaking abilities, and that's cool, because between a few words, and gestures, you can work it out. At minimum I need to be able to tell the person what I want done, and they understand completely what I've stated.
In regards to how you "feel" about having household help...I feel you; in the KSA it does seem to have a feeling of servitude attached to it (maybe this has to do with how the group of people who perform these tasks are treated overall in the KSA?). I view it as I'm giving the person a job for which I'm going to pay them money they need. My concern is my interaction with the person. I would treat the person like I would treat anyone else. However, my thoughts are, can you treat them like you would anyone else, or would they think you were weak and take advantage, etc. etc. Because it's definitely close to being a servant type situation. When I hire a Mexican to dig up my yard, I view it as a business deal.
The situation of how it's done, and how they're used in the KSA seems to have a feel of servitude to it...and that I don't know how to handle. For me...it's kinda weird. But...I think, inshallah, that I will eventually at least have a housekeeper come by once a week for the major type cleaning stuff.
"These people"?
ReplyDeleteKeeping it on a business level would, to me, be the most important. You're trading value for value. If you do something out of charity, then you're doing neither yourself nor the person a favor in the long run.
You wouldn't do business with someone you wouldn't trust, and you probably wouldn't want to do business with someone you don't enjoy being around.
This means some screening, references, and not giving someone a job out of charity. Once you do that (the charity bit), you're no longer treating them as an equal, and you could be setting yourself up for awkward situations further (farther?) down the road.
The two-cents just keep on coming.
(same author as first comment)
Otis, I enjoy reading your blog as you take me around the world. (I miss traveling)
ReplyDeleteI am in a situation where an extra set of hands would help me tremendously. If I could hire someone and pay them well I would do it in a heart beat.
If you treat your hired help with respect, set good/clear bounderies and pay a competitive wage it should work out for all involved. And you never know you might end up with a new family member!
I say at least try it.